The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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