yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
