I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This is my gift to your gina
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
