I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
