I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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