I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Is it penis luge time yet?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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