I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We're too hungover to prance.
I pour the whiskey from now on
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
