He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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