I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
