Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
