So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
