HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize