I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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