sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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