Don't you send me to vm
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
