just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
