before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
4 words: hood of his car
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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