John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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