Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
