apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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