therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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