i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
