I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
