my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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