I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I have tasted many bathrooms
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
