then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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