the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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