I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
