so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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