Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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