Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
