What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
