in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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