is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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