Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
