im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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