he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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