normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
