Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
