Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
