I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
