he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
