you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
