I CAN MOONWALK!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
