just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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