AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize