Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
