He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
