It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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