I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
