How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize