And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize