were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
