Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
