You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize