that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize