DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
